Sheesh..

I'm feeling a little better today. Man yesterday was tough. About all I did was sleep and then slept almost 9 hours last night. I guess maybe that's a good thing though. If this follows the same pattern as last time I should start feeling better by next week. Oh well, that's the way it goes. Nothing much more to add, just had to vent a little.

Kicking Hard

Man, I hope this stuff is kicking the cancer as hard as it is kicking me. I feel like I've been run over by a Kenworth. ( My loyalty to my profession prevented me from saying 'freight train' Ha! ) This wasn't unexpected though. Same thing happened last time. After the treatments I felt like this for about 4 or 5 days and then started to get it back together just in time to get zapped again. Oh well, If I can endure this every three weeks and it gives me more time with Momma and the kids and grandkids it'll be worth it.

God has certainly blessed me in that regard. I know every grandparent thinks their grandkids are the most special in the world, and they're right! So therefore mine are the most special in MY world. Seriously, I enjoy them so much.. except when Kinsley says "Uh oh.. poo poo". That's when I hand her off to Grandma. Ha! Never was much for that kind of stuff. Gracie is growing so fast it scares me. She's 9 now and is slowly turning into a young lady. With the way things are out there in todays world, that's scary! I pray God will watch over her and give her the common sense I lacked when I was her age. Zachary just wants to tear everything apart and see how fast he can break stuff. You'd think he was a six year old boy. Oh wait, he is! Ha! He's pretty big for his age and sometimes it's hard for me to remember that he's only six.

Ok, enough rambling. I'll be back when I have something more to share. God bless you all and thank you for the continued prayers and encouragement.

My Last Shot?

Well the last round of chemotherapy didn't work, so we're trying something new. This new type of chemo shows some promise, but unfortunately it has a number of side-effects. It's not a cure but tests have shown that it can add a few months of quality time to a cancer patients life so we're going to give it a shot. The key word here is "quality". If it turns out that it makes me sick all the time or has some major side effects, I will probably refuse further treatment. That may sound like I'd be giving up, but that's not the case. As I said before, I want to spend as much quality time as I can with my family and being sick all the time is not my idea of quality time. I'd rather have 3 good months than 5 or 6 lousy ones. Does that make sense? Perhaps not, but that's the way I see it. We'll just have to wait and see what happens I guess.

Whatever happens, I've sure learned a lot from all this. Most of the things I used to think were major events just don't seem very important anymore. The only things that really matter to me now are God, family and good friends, in that order. I've also discovered that people that I thought were my friends really aren't and my real friends are people I'd never have suspected even cared. It's strange how people you think care really don't and some folks you didn't even thing cared really do. God is sure opening my eyes to all these little tidbits. Hard to think of cancer being a blessing, but in some ways it is. It sure has taught me a lot about love and caring and how I should be treating other people. We are all God's children, so if you disrespect one of His children, you're also disrespecting Him. Faith, hope and love are three of the greatest gifts He's given us, and the greatest of these is LOVE! Pretty simple but so hard to practice.