Sunday, August 1, 2010

Is it worth it?

I'm beginning to understand why a lot of folks refuse chemotherapy. I was just starting to feel a little better and then this morning woke up with my stomach feeling like there were two forces doing battle in there. I don't know if it's going to be worth gaining a few months of life if I have to be sick all the time. I'm just pondering and praying about it. What would God have me do? Do I hang onto life at all costs or just let Him do whatever it is He's going to do? I'm not sure I have the answer to this one. I know my wife wants me to fight it for all I'm worth but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. At some point we just have to say "that's enough" and let God take it I think. But just when and where is that point? Man.. I need to do a lot more praying and see if He'll give me the answer.

Hope I'm not bringing anyone down. I'm just SO tired of the battle. Even the best generals have to retreat sometimes. Just trying to figure out when that time might be.

1 comment:

Fonegirl said...

Fred...I'm real sorry you are goin thru this and feeling so ill. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I don't know what to say except that God is listening so you keep prayin! HUGS!

Micah's Friend,